she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
