Hey man sorry I got all grabby
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
