He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
