And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
be right there i have to get my cape
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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