So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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