Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
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