So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
