Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
