have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
