If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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