he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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