i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
