Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
