JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
