haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
