Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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