yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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