when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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