Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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