another moral hangover. fuck.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
