I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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