if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
