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• (212): View more from New York

  I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth

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• (214): View more from Texas

  they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.

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• (818): View more from California

  Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.

  (713): View more from Texas

  Yeah you should have just let that thought go.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.

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