He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
