Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
