I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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