There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
