Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
