Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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