At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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