is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
