so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
