I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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