i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
