you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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