Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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