we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Sorry about my life...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
