it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
