I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
