I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
