So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
