My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
porn star boner night. come get it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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