NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
