If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
