He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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