normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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