Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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