I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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