I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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