Whod you bang
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
