eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
