idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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