i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
