Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
