Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
