Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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