I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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