a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
