Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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