She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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