about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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