This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
