I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
