you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
