Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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