Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
