Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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