Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
then he tried to convert me to islam
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
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