Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize